MNN CULTURAL REPORT - STARBACK'S MOCHABOT CHILLER UNVEILED

Seattle’s Starback’s Coffee is unveiling their new nano-technology drink today, the “Mochabot Chiller”. With real farmer Grade 301 cream, hydroponically grown coffee beans roasted to perfection and over 1.1 million nanobots programmed to open capillaries in the brain and increase blood flow, response time and alertness, this drink is sure to be a success.

“The trick is here to blend the nanobots with ice, that keeps them inert and inactive till they reach body temperature, then they’re absorbed into the bloodstream where they go to work,” said Starback’s representative Tim Lephroiag. “Research and Development did just a great job with this, the human and metahuman test phases met with very few casualties.”

A select group of winners from a KKLX radio contest got to try the new drink early, compliments of Starback’s.

“It’s like a rainbow of energy shooting through my mind…” said one drinker, who was riding around in circles in the parking lot on his bike, I tried to catch him for further comments, and couldn’t get his attention.

We witnessed a couple drinkers fidgeting around, and one said, “I guess I’m going jogging!” as he broke into a dead run, wearing a suit and tie.

So, if you’ve got to sleep Seattle, do it when you’re dead.

Keep punk in your heart and one in the chamber, chummers.

This is Cultural Reporter Johann Spark for MNN.

Artwork by Mike Underhill