MANI BLASKIL'S NEWSBRIEF - YAKUZA

Uber kudos, God-fearing citizens of Seattle!

This is Mani Blaskil, and today I’d like to chat a little about our newest headlines, the Yakuza.

Let’s leave these guys alone, we’ve got bigger fish to fry. People are worried about a little organized crime that’s been there since the birth of this great city, but they’re here, always have been and they keep to themselves.

We’ve got monsters, real monsters right out there on our front doorstep, those metahumans who are sneaking around at night when the rest of us God-fearing families sleep, they’re out doing whatever dastardly deed it is that they do at that horrendous hour.

It’s time to put the reins to these lawless metahumans, demand justice! Forget about the Yakuza, they’re just Asian businessmen. Let them pay their taxes and everything will work itself out in the end. It’s time we start giving Asians a fair shake and well, humans in general. If we can’t control these evil metahumans and drive them out of our communities, humans will just be a poorly written chapter in history. It’s time we stand up and demand that Lone Star take some proper action against all these “awakened” types.

Let’s go to the phones:

Caller: “Hi Mani, I’ve been listening to your show, and aren’t metahumans just people who’ve been changed or something…”

Mani: “No, see that’s where you’re wrong, they aren’t people in the traditional sense of the word any more than cancer is a part of the body. Yah, the body might have grown it, it’s inside the body, but it’s wrong, it’s not a natural thing to be there, and if it’s not surgically removed, you die.”

Caller: “Ahh. That makes a lot of sense. I see them all the time on my walk to work and they always kind of scare me. I guess I’m not the only one.”

Mani: “You are definitely not, and that’s just the point I’m trying to make here. We have tax paying citizens afraid to go out of their house ‘cause it’s like the God damned Muppet show out there! Call your folks at Lone Star if you see them causing a shootout or something.”

Caller: “Thanks Mani, and uber kudos to you too!”

This is Mani Blaskil, Seattle’s Mr. Right saying, “Good luck and stay safe.”

Artwork by Mike Underhill

MNN NEWSBRIEF - TWO ELVES DEAD IN DOWNTOWN GUN BATTLE

Two Elves were killed today in a tragic event in downtown Seattle at a restaurant called Run Run Shaw's. Gun violence has long plagued downtown, but to have two awakened brethern killed is a tragic event.

Authorities are pointing at "Yakuza", but it's really Lone Star's responsibility to keep these tragic events from happening. A number of other humans also lost their lives in the shooting.

A subsequent helicopter gunship chase of two vehicles ended violently as UCAS destroyed them, fortunately none of the victims in the savage UCAS attack were Metahumans.

A recent poll among Metahumans show that only 12% believe that Lone Star has the ability to keep them safe. 79% say that arming themselves is the safest, most effective way to stop violent attacks against the Metahuman community.

This is Gavin McConellroy, Metahuman News Network.

Artwork by Mike Underhill

UCAS NEWS - YAKUZA VIOLENCE ERUPTS

Lone Star SWAT and UCAS standing militia forces were called in to Run Run Shaw’s on 6^th Avenue this afternoon as a gun battle started inside the restaurant and spilled out into the street. At least 6 known Yakuza gunmen were killed along with 5 restaurant patrons, a waitress and a line cook.

The reason for the gun battle and by whom it was instigated remains a mystery at this hour.

Three cars sped from the scene and two of the three were destroyed by UCAS forces with Northrup Wasp attack helicopters. The remaining car has not been located, according to Lone Star representative Jane Hawkins.

Two DocWagon Crisis Response Teams were present, attempting to extract one of their contracts. A brief standoff occurred between heavily armed DocWagon staff and UCAS Urban Assault Forces, tensions rose as the DocWagon CRT Osprey II’s hovered overhead and their extraction teams repelled from the aircraft to take defensive positions around the restaurant. Although there was much shouting between UCAS forces and DocWagon CRT’s, no shots were fired.

When UCAS’ Ares Citymaster armored personnel carriers arrived on the scene minutes later, DocWagon stood down and allowed UCAS and Lone Star SWAT to enter and tactically sweep the property.

Lone Star is hoping citizens will come forward with video footage or an eyewitness account. Contact Lone Star if you have any further information regarding this violent outburst. Lone Star coroner teams still at this hour continue to keep Run Run Shaw’s shut down.

I'm Mike Halverton with UCAS News.

Artwork by Mike Underhill