MNN NEWS COMMENTARY - DWARVAN UPRISING
Lone Star officials were called in to a construction site mid morning in Seattle Metroplex. Dwarven rights activists, the Charred Hammer and members of Dwarfirst, waved banners and signs protesting the construction of new Dwarf-friendly apartment units on the upper west side. Dubbed “Small Meta Efficiency Environs” or SMEE’s, these units make the most of available space and are quite economical, according to architect Dale Persons. “They’re just the right size for smaller Meta-humans,” said Persons.
“I’m not quite sure what they’re mad about,” said Construction Engineer for MetaErgonomics Dwight Farth. “They’re apartments FOR Dwarves, you know, with smaller appliances and lower countertops. They’re Dwarf sized rental units. The SMEE will have smaller rental costs too, because of less square footage and headroom. Instead of 9 foot stories in a building, we can make them five and a half feet.”
Dwarven protester August Smithee retorted, “Yah, they wanna shove us in these tiny ovens and cook us like Hansel and Gretel! We’ll have no part of this, we’re smaller, sure, but we do fine right now, why do we need special living spaces?”
Representative Bill Blanchard from Yamatetsu Corp., the financial backers of the project, was quoted as saying, “Let them protest, let them get their matchbooks and toothpicks out and make their teeny-tiny signs out of ‘em, who cares, we’re still building it.”
Several Dwarves were detained for throwing objects at Troll construction workers and Elven foremen, and the entire group was pummeled with non-lethal weaponry. It appears that some of the protesters wore body armor and were unaffected and continued to struggle; the remainders were gassed with a crowd-controlling agent that causes severe gastric distress.
“There’s a lot of Dwarf shiite about, but we feel we got our point across,” said an unnamed Dwarven source while holding his stomach and clutching the seat of his pants.
-Gavin McConellroy, MNN (Meta-Human News Network)
MNN logo by Mike Underhill
