Thursday, November 1, 2007

Advertisement - Underbridge and Associates

Down on your luck and faced with an unfair legal situation? Do you feel that you were singled out in an arrest simply based upon what branch of humanty you lie in? Uncertain if the law has your best interest in mind?

Hello. My name is Mister Underbridge and I may be able to help. Like many people in the inner city, I too have had an unjust situation forced upon me but I have recovered from it and would like to help.

The first legal consultation where my associates and I can judge if we can aid your situation, is free. My company has various payment plans available for those with monetary problems but a real need for a lawyer. So when faced with what you feel is an imbalance in the scales of justice, please remember the name of Underbridge and Associates.

Law may be blind, but she can be sympathetic too.

Ad and artwork by
Abel Du Sable.

9 comments:

Barrio Billy said...

These guys are the real deal. They got a chummer of mine out of a pretty tight spot a while back.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I keep these guys on the speed dial.

You get arrested before noon and they can have you home by dinner.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, yeah yeah... po' ole me. You trogs wouldn't get arrested if you'd stop breaking the fragging law.

Anonymous said...

Lahk th' crime a' "Drivin' While Meta"?

JeremyRocksU said...

These guys are frauds. Payment plan arrangements include running ops for them and if you're in deep enough, wet works at no extra charge.

They breed customers who are destined to be repeat value shoppers as they fall deeper into the shadow.

Fucking cowards, do your own jobs. Get your own fucking muscle. Don't con some asshole to do shit for you.

Anonymous said...

Youse must be tinkin' 'bout anudder Troll Lawyer-Type, Jambi. I owes dis guy lots, pass an' present, and he's always wit da "Don go killin' noones." when it comes time ta pays back.

He also makes hisself some guud furrnitures. Muh reclyner back home is one a 'is. 'Ad to be a small model, but I's a biggy Ork.

Anonymous said...

Jambi, please.

Did your parents never tell you about civilility being the first step towards being accepted by others? I should hope they did.

I am sorry you seem to be misinformed about the activities surrounding my practice but I have always strived to be on the right side of the law.

You see boys, girls and those of you seem to defy classification. I was once very much human. An Intern 'footsoldier' in the company of Rapp, Pillich and Byrne with my eyes on the prize and little time to smell the roses. Then it all came crashing down.

One night I fell a sleep and woke up in pure agony as if someone had me clenched in a huge fist. I was hurting so bad I couldn't even reach my phone... then again what would I have told them? "I can't come into work today, I'm turning into a Troll?" Somehow I managed to keep from going mad and tried to get on with my life. I quickly discovered what they meant by the "Urban Troll's Burden". Trapped in a world where nothing is the right size for you and people look at you as if you're about to roar and beat them into paste. The firm said I wasn't what they were trying to project to their customers and I was given my walking papers. Fortunately I managed to finish my law degree and start a small practice in the heart of the city's... lower rent areas.

My first year was slow, not many people think 'Laywer' and 'Troll' go together but it was rewarding in other aspects. I found out that despite most of the people around me being poor or even 'not human' they were good people. They had lives of their own and when I warmed up to them I became part of those lives... and as a result when they needed legal advice they came to me.

I came to realise that most of the troubled youth around me needed more than legal help... most had lost faith in the world in general. Many turned to gangs because they felt life had no other options for them... and after defending many of these boys and girls in court on behalf of their parents I realised that someone has to take the first step in giving them their dignity back.

So I took some money I had squirreled away and I invested it in them. One by one I hired the people that the Prosecutor told me and the court were lost causes. I gave thema job, taught them a trade and one by one the ranks of an entire gang dwindled until what was left crumbled and fell apart and blew away like dust.

That's why you never see the Fiery Eye Gang any more... they're making furnature and appliances for the metahuman community.

They say if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. I don't believe in dung like that. I say everyone can be a solution if they choose to. I choose to try to be a good example for every Troll, Ork, Dwarf, Elf and yes... even human, out there. I choose to become a community leader rather than an observer. I choose to get involved with the families and businesses around me. It all comes down to what kind of memory you want the world to have of you when you leave it.

Tell you what Jambi. I'm certain you're literate. You can find where I work in the directory easily enough. Gather some of your friends together and we can discuss further this over a game of community softball.


Mr. Underbridge

Anonymous said...

I love this guy.
Only here in the inner city can you find a lawyer that actually gives a crap about the community he lives in beyond "Is my home gonna sell well?"
As for you Jambi I did some Tree shaking.
I think the people you got your info from are not exactly on the level, themselves.
But I'll let you look into that yourself. Sometimes a 'runner has to see the truth on his own instead of have another 'runner tell him straight out.

The Big Crush said...

I can attest to these guys being on the up-and-up. They helped me out with a little matter of an errant meteor spell and explaining just where I learned it...seeing as my accounts got wiped in the Crash, and my past as a military mage wasn't proven at the time.
Thanks to them, it was proven in the court of law that i did in fact serve in the UCAS military as a combat mage, and that I used my magic purely in self-defense. Thanks to that, my entence was reduced to community service, which I do already. Thanks, Underbridge!