MNN NEWS COMMENTARY - DWARVAN UPRISING
Lone Star officials were called in to a construction site mid morning in Seattle Metroplex. Dwarven rights activists, the Charred Hammer and members of Dwarfirst, waved banners and signs protesting the construction of new Dwarf-friendly apartment units on the upper west side. Dubbed “Small Meta Efficiency Environs” or SMEE’s, these units make the most of available space and are quite economical, according to architect Dale Persons. “They’re just the right size for smaller Meta-humans,” said Persons.
“I’m not quite sure what they’re mad about,” said Construction Engineer for MetaErgonomics Dwight Farth. “They’re apartments FOR Dwarves, you know, with smaller appliances and lower countertops. They’re Dwarf sized rental units. The SMEE will have smaller rental costs too, because of less square footage and headroom. Instead of 9 foot stories in a building, we can make them five and a half feet.”
Dwarven protester August Smithee retorted, “Yah, they wanna shove us in these tiny ovens and cook us like Hansel and Gretel! We’ll have no part of this, we’re smaller, sure, but we do fine right now, why do we need special living spaces?”
Representative Bill Blanchard from Yamatetsu Corp., the financial backers of the project, was quoted as saying, “Let them protest, let them get their matchbooks and toothpicks out and make their teeny-tiny signs out of ‘em, who cares, we’re still building it.”
Several Dwarves were detained for throwing objects at Troll construction workers and Elven foremen, and the entire group was pummeled with non-lethal weaponry. It appears that some of the protesters wore body armor and were unaffected and continued to struggle; the remainders were gassed with a crowd-controlling agent that causes severe gastric distress.
“There’s a lot of Dwarf shiite about, but we feel we got our point across,” said an unnamed Dwarven source while holding his stomach and clutching the seat of his pants.
-Gavin McConellroy, MNN (Meta-Human News Network)
MNN logo by Mike Underhill
24 comments:
When are us Orks gettin BIGGER apartments?
Buzz off ork scumbag.
You wouldn't say that to my face.
Club4lyfe may not, but I would Begby.
Haha, Terminus, what are you some kind of Roman pork puppet? I'd shortly rename you Deadinus.
A home's too good for dem' dwarfs. All dey need is swift death and a nice hot fire.
Sayin that to the right dwarf will get a tire iron wrapped around your noggin and a swim in Salmon Bay. When the bubbles tickle your feet you'll know you're going headfirst, and when the pressure squishes you like a bug, I'm told it dosen't even hurt due to the freezing cold water.
Poli 108, why don't you stop by the Deadlands.
I'll buy you a drink, and the we can "talk" about your thoughts on dwarves.
Holy crap! Was that the real Terminus???
There's a 1,000,000 neyen bounty on his head. Not that anyone working our side of the shadows, is stupid enough to try and collect.
Begby, you might want to get the hell out of town...
Kirby, we know all about your little metahuman friendly pub. Wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to it...
How's your son doin' by the way? Got a bit of a cough has he? I wouldn't get too close, he might be contagious.
Squish some disgusting meta ork scum, terminus!
Poli 64... come with 108 to the Deadlands.
I'll "buy you a drink" too.
Then when I'm done embarrassing you two fragsticks you can send the rest of the "bridge club" down.
@ mishra: I don't know anything about terminus, but if he's a racist, I know there's others that want his skin, he'll eventually get what's coming to him.
@ poli 64: Deadlands dosen't allow little girls I'm pretty sure. Pack up your sundress and go play in the sandbox with the rest of your Humanis inbreds.
I saw first hand, Terminus geek a whole
Lone Star SWAT team.
It was a dreken blood bath.
Maybe I should feel honored that he dropped into a feedback thread just to cap on me, then.
Drek of a thing, killing a ork. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have...
Lot of talk in this thread. Pretty easy to brag and threaten over the wave.
If you got something to say to a person, say it to their face or shut the fuck up.
No worries Jambi, you're clearly in my sights too.
Listen chummers, Terminus use to roll in my crew.
If this is truly him, it's no joke.
Watch your six boys.
We roll locked and loaded.
Can I get what you got on this Terminus guy, Kirby? Wiring you nuyen for your trouble...
Actually, I've seen a few apartment buildings getting extentions put on the rooftops that have extra headroom, specifically for Troll tennants. Also useful for Drone Riggers, as well apparently.
The additions aren't as good as the rest of the building, but at least you don't have to duck the doorways, or pay higher rent. Pity about having to use stairs as well, however. Most aren't extending the elevator service.
As for the "Dwarf Uprising", one of my good Chummers in the Guard, "Halftime" (NOT named that for being a Halfer, I might add) was at the rally. Thing is, he's always the first to also complain that everything's too tall.
Fragged if you do, fragged if you don't with some people.
Sorry, halfers.
You must be *this* tall to talk in the thread.
Come back when you get a booster seat.
How did Halftime put it again?
"Tall enough to make you a Post-Op Tranny with the Cyberspurs." IIRC.
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