Advertisement - Hovercraft Monthly
It's that time of the month again, folks, time to put your gear in a more mobile chuckwagon. Get your latest copy of Hovercraft Monthly before the UCAS bans it for making Mil-Spec Tech available to the average Shadowbucket. Humm in style with the Bayliss Venture, available from dealers now, nicely equipped at 42199 Nuyen.
Artwork by Mike Underhill
8 comments:
The key to military speccing a hovercraft is to get the biggest piece of hoop-licking crap you can find. Then pull the panelling off and replace it with microfiber, plastisteel, and ceramic armor. Also throw in a couple of extra batteries and run them in parallel.
Why? Because a hovercraft runs off of a cushion of air capable of supporting your whole vehicle. Cheap Confederate models have a lot of heavy materials in them - steel, aluminium, pvc - it's embarrassng. Or it would be if you actually used any of that crap.
The vents and the throughput are already set up to accomodate a heavy load, so once you pull the low-tech crap off you've got a hover chasis that can carry all the high grade military gear you want.
Now all you have to do is supercharge the propulsion fans and you're really able to move at a decent clip. Best of all, every individual part of it (except the heavy machine gun on the pop-up ring mount) is completely legit civilian equipment. Some of the parts can be purchased ready formed from the same aftermarket dealers who supply all the triad wannabes their racing mods.
Wish that article about being thrown off a building had come out three months ago. Only thing that saved my hoop was that scaffolding that broke my fall.
Well, the scaffolding and a security guard. Heard he's out of the hospital now, as well. Will have to send him a reward for being a nice, soft landing pad.
Is this thing serious? There's no way I'd order from a catalog. It's tracked all over the place, and it might be a little conspicuous having such a hovercraft show up on my doorstep. No fragging way. This is a great way to get in some serious drek.
Maybe they wrap it in one of those "inconspicous brown boxes" we're all so familiar with.
Gotta watch out for the Brown Boxes thing. Back when I was married, we ordered stuff that came that way, got the neighbours talking!
They thought were were buying kinky sex toys!
Almost got us kicked out of the neighbourhood. So, we showed them what was in the packages.
That did get us kicked out.
There's something to be said to living in an area that's poorer...
Any neighborhood that would kick you out for buying Kinky sex toys ain't worth living in.
Aw-yeah
Actually, it was a 150th year Anniversary Edition of a Colt M1911. And other, assorted, rather mundane weapons. Legally bought and owned.
No, really!
Decidedly anti-gun community. "Only our Security Personelle should have weapons!"-types.
We couldn't move out fast enough. Two weeks later, a rash of break-ins changed their minds quite quick.
Money, could you being forced to move and selling the info of a nice neighbor hood where no one was armed have anything to do with it?
It might, it just might. ;-)
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